Sanderson's Diary, September 1997
 

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September 1

Well, at least I still fit in the bathroom sink! Mom and my aunt went to the California State Fair today. They brought me back a weasel ball. Boy is it silly. The weasel is attached to the ball with a short piece of supposedly invisible plastic, and there is a motor inside the ball. It causes the ball to roll around while the weasel chases it. Nice try, Mom, but I guess they don't make batteries like they used to. The weasel ran out of energy before I did! Maybe they should have used a bunny?

September 7

Mom thinks I'm becoming a kleptomaniac. Just because I move things around while she isn't looking doesn't mean she should hang one of those tags on me. I think it goes back to my love of toys. You know the old saying, "He who dies with the most toys wins"? Well, that's my motto. Yes, I take every pen and pencil I can find. Yes, I swipe the disposable razor from the tub. Yes, I like paper clips. And yes, I did grab a roll of Lifesavers twice before Mom could finish them. I snatched them once without her even seeing me. How did she know where to look? Oh, yeah. I guess there's a limit to how many items I can stuff under the coffee table where I hide my brush. Okay, so I'll have to create a couple of new stashes. I think I'll go acquire something else while she's working on the computer. Psst. Don't tell her I'm on a mission!

September 13

I really am getting good at sneaking up and grabbing things. The other night when Mom made fettucine with chicken and spinach, I absconded with the seeds from the red pepper. Mom wasn't too happy 'cause they flew all over the place as I made my escape. I also managed to get my own clove of garlic from the dinner preparations! And yes, it was great batting it around on the tile in the entryway. Just wish I could remember where I left it. I've also discovered how to get on top of the refrigerator. There's a cozy little area between the top of the refrigerator and the bottom of the upper kitchen cabinets. If I pretend I am taking a nap up there, I can sneak over the front of the refrigerator and take one of the magnets while no one is looking. I am particularly partial to the green plastic letter "B." The transfer from paw to mouth is so smooth I can be back down and batting it around on the tile before anyone knows it is missing!

September 19

Boy is today a day to remember. Call the police! We've been robbed! The family jewels are missing! Mom took me to see my doctor yesterday to get the last of my kitten shots. Or at least that's what she said we were going to do. It ended up in my first sleep-over. (Hey, all you young folks, when you want to stay overnight somewhere and your parents say okay, be sure you understand what they really have in mind!) Yes, Mom had warned me it was coming. I just didn't expect it so unexpectedly. I fooled them, though. The clinic staff told Mom that I probably wouldn't want to eat for a day or so, but I might want something to drink. Boy, did I want something to drink! And they said be prepared for anything that went down to return through the top end. Fooled them. I don't believe in return policies. Remember, I'm a Maine Coon. Serve four, or serve me! (See Sanderson's Cookbook.) By the way, I'm up to six and one-half pounds (pre-jewel removal)!

Mom let me drive on the way home. I got a chance to glare at a few passing motorists and build up an appetite. 'Course I wanted treats, not kitten growth food. I mean, it's good for me and all, but if I'm old enough to give up the family jewels, I'm old enough to eat what I want! I do love those pounce-type, whisker-lickin' goodies! Just to be obstinate, I didn't even barf. At the moment I'm curled up asleep on one of Mom's feet. I don't think the back end of me is too happy with the day's events, but as it's not manly to complain (and a lesser cat would be having an identity crisis about now), I'll just look pathetic and sleep it off. There's worse things that could have happened to me. I could have been a girl!

Check back now and then. I'll keep you posted on the latest developments! Hope to see you soon.

Sanderson